A lot of the time, I birth art from a place of pain and emotional distress. I made the mistake of thinking my most profound expressions would be that of pain, of sadness, anger, depression, and all their unnamed associates. Today, I strive to write from a different place. As intensely and at times excessively social as I am, I spoke to a friend who wanted to spend time with me, and decided to turn it into a tea party. I promised myself a while back that I would satisfy my swe

I’m always thinking about you. I can’t help but think that I was easy for you to discard. Ultimately you have made your decision, and I need to move on, but that is never easy. I can’t help what opinions you form of me. I can’t even help how you interpret the very best of my intentions and their resulting actions. I can only control myself. My feelings and actions. Only that. I was told once before that it is not easy, and it is frequent. Both of these things are true. I will

But my eyes are closed. As far as I am concerned, I lack coherence. What I feel and what I succeed at articulating are poles apart. I definitely feel as though I am at crossroads. I know what is safe, and advisable. But what feels right does not feel safe by human standards. I know this, but I do not know what the allure of the risk is. Other than the pain in my back, the tension in my body, and the weight on my chest, I cannot feel much else. I cannot feel much beyond “I n

I’m still conscious of the fact that I may have worried people with my suicidal tendencies. I’m honoured you care for me (or, simply for human life) this much. I’m still here, oscillating between “I can do this” and “I really don’t want to be here”, but I am here all the same. I almost didn’t make it to 2026, and if the 23rd hadn’t turned out the way it did, I wouldn’t have. I wanted to die, or so I thought. But I didn’t get the “conditions” I predicated, which I actually fou

I didn’t just survive Monday, I thrived. I was busy, no one was unkind (someone was confrontational, but I simply wish her the best). I had to remind myself that today was Monday. It was a long day too, but that didn’t matter; I was busy, and feedback didn’t harm my mental health. We did today. We did Monday. Fingers crossed for Tuesday.

My last post was dark, and observers are worried. I apologise for worrying you all like that. But I also want to thank you for caring. I spent this weekend fighting suicidal urges. On the outside I was the reckless, unhinged child that does not exercise moderation, on the inside, I was, and am, an adult dreading a new week in a space she does not want to be in. As of Sunday, I truly did not want to be alive, so I prayed. I asked for my burden to be lightened, and I asked for

Trigger warning for mentions of suicide and suicidal ideation. I really hate how immobilising depression can be. And I see how anyone on the outside looking at you can describe you simply as lazy, childish, etc. I want to work, I want to be productive, I want to function, but moving is hard. Moving is hard. Moving is hard. How do I explain this to anyone without sounding immature? I did something I am not proud of today, and I want to take steps to make sure I do not resort t

I spoke to a friend about this constant loss of friendship in my life, and how deeply it has hurt and traumatised me. He said it’s a fact of life. Mistakes are costly, not just for the one who makes them either; there can, and typically is, collateral. I have indulged so much avoidant behaviour out of a desire to not be a nuisance. I did not consider myself hyper-independent until recently, because hyper-independent people, to me, get shit done. For me, if I couldn’t do it m

When I woke up this morning, the first thing my head did was pain me. It was 4am, and my loving mother had advice, and things to get off her chest with regards to my lifestyle choices, and tension in the home, which she has been trying to convince me to mitigate. The main problem is my father has passed on his pride, and I too, shall shine it diligently, and wear it as a mantle. At least, that is how it appears to onlookers of a certain age. I like to think I have no problem

My Favourite thing to do is reiterate that I do not care. I’ll say it off handedly at any situation that causes me distress. I care deeply. To depths that are baffling, even in situations where I was little more than a thought. I cannot act as though I do not know the origins of this. Nonchalance is power. To engage in any depth of relation, and come back… unbothered, is seen as power. And as an indigene of this planet, I have tried to adjust. But that’s not me. I took my m

I met a friend who we’ll call M (20). It was a brief encounter, and we would not meet again for about a year, if not more. The next time we would see each other would be in my friend King’s apartment. We planned how we’d be each other’s community and even formed a group chat, as I was looking to move out and loved the prospect of being neighbours with my friends. Things didn’t go as planned, at all. As someone who is trying not to be superstitious, the changes were a little t

More and more, as I try to feel, scream, sing, express, and document, I encounter frustration after frustration. I find myself in the...

So for our final Photography exam, we've been asked to show progress in our photography. so here are some images from 2-3 years ago, and...

As you can tell by the fact that this is coming in April, I barely acknowledge Independence Day and am quite full of myself. I didn’t...

I have decided to become the ultimate capitalist and channel all my negative emotions into something nice. I'll be navigating my mental...